Charlie Sheen Testifying

Buckle your seatbelts everybody. After depleting the drug supply in Hollywood, Charlie Sheen is now conquering Capitol Hill with his unique world views. Mr. Sheen just concluded testifying before the Senate Arms Committee in favor of increased spending to support the mental health treatment of veterans. Committee Chair Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) voiced the sentiment shared by his fellow Democrats that Sheen's testimony surpassed their expectations. It is unknown whether any of the funding would go to the mental health support of Mr. Sheen himself.